Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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