I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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