I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize