I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize