margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
