I'm going to jail i love you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize