Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize