i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize