On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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