My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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