what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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