I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
