zippers are such a cool invention
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
