Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
