Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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