Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
