well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
