Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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