pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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