next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
