I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
