A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
