That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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