Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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