Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize