capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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