Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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