i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
