after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
