Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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