She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
