At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize