I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His nipple licking is glorious
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