so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
