This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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