I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
