I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize