Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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