Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
