standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
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I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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