It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
