....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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