Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
