and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She has the best kind of daddy issues
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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