Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
