He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
