I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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