Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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