you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
