Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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