Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
