i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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