This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
