When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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