What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
