we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
