Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
