You really coming over, don't trick.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
